Dzy’s Blog

One day, a couple of weeks ago, I was walking home from work, down my beautiful Harlem block, and saw something that made me really happy.  What was it?  Well, two teenagers.  They were having a ball.  And they were skating.  

What's so great about that you might say?  Well, if you came up in the 80's it would be shocking.  Damn near revolutionary.  See, back then, black people did not skate.  They did not ski, did not surf and did not listen to rock music--even swimming was suspect.  Everyone knew this.   Some things were for white people.  Some things were for black people.  End of story.     

Of course (or should I say fortunately) my Mom tried to help mitigate the subconscious racial messages I was receiving.  "Black people can do anything,"  she used to say.  She repeated this all through college. "Don't limit yourself. Try new things.  It's your world." 

But in the 80s, even in the Bay Area, things were black and white (and Mexican). Black people didn't skate.  That was for white boys.  Black people played basketball, and football, and listened to rap music.  You could not cross racial lines.  

But let's fast forward to the present.  Now black people do skate.  And play golf.  And swim.  And do gymnastics.  And listen to rock music.   We can do all of these things.  We can even be president. 

Race has changed in America.  Things have gotten better.  Or, at least a wider range of black people and people of color are reflected in the media.   New ideas about what it means to be black or white or Latino or a woman are getting out there.  People, and I mean all people, feel less confined to stereotypical roles.  And that makes me happy.  Happy to see two black teenagers rockin' their worlds with skateboards.

Hey People!  I can't believe I haven't blogged since July.  I've been busy trying to get settled here in the NYC.  I've actually had lots of ideas for blog topics  which will be forthcoming.  But in the meantime let me catch you up to what I've been up to since I've been out here. 

1) Love all my jobs--I'm teaching beginning and intermediate adult ESL throughout the city and I love it.  My students are great and the work is so much less stressful than working in the board of ed.  I commute a lot and work nights but it's worth it.

2) Looking for a place--this was hell!  I can't even tell you how much paperwork was involved--totally exhausting! but it was worth it.  I found a great rent controlled studio in the Hamilton Heights area of Harlem for $1050 a month.  This is a good price for NYC.  The place is spacious for a studio, has a balcony and there's laundry and an elevator in the building.  The area is great because it's on a tree lined street (hopefully it'll be somewhat quiet) near City College.  This is super accessible to all trains so it's much easier for me to get around than it was before.  There are some nice amenities in the hood too including a Starbucks (I know :), a gym, Pathmark supermarket, and parks and stuff.  So, I'm really exited to move in and get settled. 

3) Enjoying the city.  Saw two great art exhibits at the Bronx Museum and the Studio Museum of Harlem.  Went to see a Somali hip hop artist named K'naan and Mos Def made a guest appearance.  Actually, Mos Def kind of sucked but that's okay. . .It was still a nice night.  What else? . .saw a great play about gentrification in NYC. . .saw my friend's  Bomba performance. . .went to a fun BBQ. . .still trying to do capoeira. . .celebrated my birthday. . .saw a great film as part of the African-Diaspora film festival. . .so you know. . .trying to re-establish myself out here. . .did some shopping for fall. . .got my eyebrows done. . .discovered podcasts. . .

4)  So that's pretty much it. . .Sitting at my favorite cafe. . .blogging once again : )

I watched the show before going to bed and every dream I had last night was like Sex and the City.  The only dream I really remembered was an 'episode' where some guy was an asshole to Charlotte.  So Sam got back at him by making it look like she gave him a blow job.  Don't ask. . .it made sense in the dream.  Sam used that marshmellow mix and put it around the guy's mouth when he was asleep.  Then she put some of the marshmallow mix on the sofa.  I was in the dream, too, so I helped her make the guy look guilty.  Then Sam walked into the family room and woke up the guy and made it look like they were caught.  I don't know how that was supossed to make Charlotte feel better, but it did. 

Anyway. . .I've been thinking about Sex in the City a lot because the show brings up a lot of issues that a single woman in her early 30's can really connect with.  Lately, because I've been around my family, I've really been feeling how society devalues single women.  Here are some examples:

1)  Last winter I went to Panama.  My cousin works on a tourist boat that takes people around different tourist destinations in Panama.  He said he would like to take me on the boat but he couldn't because I was single so that would be a problem.  I didn't really understand what the problem was. . . I just said 'fuck it' and went to the beach by myself. . .

2) My dad, a psychiatrist, seemed to think that all my misery in moving back to the Bay Area had to do with not having a boyfriend.  He mentioned this frequently, every time I complained about being there.   My sister's boyfriend, a psychologist, also made comments to this effect. (What are they teaching these so called 'mental health professionals' ? )  What these men don't get is that was miserable because I was bored--not because I didn't have a man.  It's such a traditional patriarchal view that a woman can't be happy alone.  I've even had friends assume that I'm in a bad mood because I'm not dating anyone.  Come on people--this is the 21st century! 

3) Definitely in my family my sister gets treated more like an adult because she is in a relationship.   She makes her own adult decisions and plans and they are accepted by both my parents with out commentary or feedback.  I'm expected to tag along with my parents and every independent decision is subject to their feedback and criticism. I feel that this hellof ironic because I have more life experience. 
   
Get with it people!  Society tells women that it's normal to be with a man and abnormal to be alone.  This is such a harmful message that many women internalize.   I have a lot of female friends who are depressed because they are alone or are in bad relationships to avoid being alone--all because of societal pressure.  Be strong ladies!  You are complete and whole and wonderful and amazing all by yourself! 

Much slept on. . .

 I've realized that in many ways--teaching and capoeira are very much alike.  Here's a list of similarities:

1. Be three steps ahead of the game
    In capoeira, you need to constantly think about what's coming next.  If the rasteria doesn't work what will you do?   How do you counter the meia lua?  You need to have a goal in mind.  You need to be thinking ahead of where you are.  Same with teaching.  You have to be three steps ahead of your students.  One of your behavior problems is here today. Okay, greet him at the door and try to get him on the right track.  Students give lots of excuses about homeowrk? Knock their excuses down before they even make them. 
2.  Roll with the punches
    In other words, be flexible.  Maybe the copier is down so students will have to copy off of the board.  If you get a take down in a capoeira game come back with a martelo. 
3.  You never really know how you are doing
    In capoeira it's hard to get accurate feedback because you can't see yourself play.  Same with teaching.  Things seem like they are working, you think you are doing a good job but you don't always know. 
4.  Have your own style
    You have to be sincere when teaching.  You can't be the next Edward James Olmos.  You have to be you.  Otherwise it's just acting and you'll be exhausted. In capoeira, you have to develop your own style and have your own game. Use the way your body works to your advantage. 
5.  Work your ass off
    I have yet to meet a good teacher who didn't work their ass off.  In fact, I always said 'the greatest enemy of teaching is time'.  You know what you have to do for your students but you don't have the time or the energy to do it.  Same with capoeira.  You can always practice you kicks more or work on a new florieio or learn a new song.  
6.  Don't be afraid to try new stuff
    You gotta spice things up as a teacher or it gets really boring for you and your students.  Same in capoeira. If you do the same moves each time your opponent will be able to read you and you will get 'checked' or 'locked out'. 
7. Question Answer
    In teaching you ask questions and the students answer.  Or, students ask questions and the teacher answers.  The same with capoeira.  You do a move and your opponent 'answers'.  Or vice versa. 
8.  There's always some bullshit
    Paperwork.  Nasty teachers or nasty students.  In every capoeira group there's always someone how plays in a way you don't like.  There's always a favorite.  There's always someone who doesn't like you. 
9. Never let yourself be vulnerable
    Some may disagree with me here but I don't think it's a good idea to cry in front of your students.  Many students are taught that crying=fear and that fear should never be expressed.  It can also appear unprofessional to your collegues and supervisors.  Crying or vulnerablity is never good in capoeira.  I can't tell you how many times I went HOME and cried after class because of one frustration or another but I do my best to avoid doing this in class.  Also, don't be vulnerable in the game.  Don't do a queda de rins at the foot of a person who is standing opposite you.  Try never to turn your back.  Don't get stuck queda de quatro. 
10.  Have fun
    As a teacher you gotta be silly sometimes.  Take the pressure off.  One day, I spoke to 602 (which was my worst class ever in the history of teaching : ) in a robot voice for the whole period.  They loved it!   In capoeira, don't be afraid to make fun of yourself.   One time I slipped and fell and rolled on the floor for a bit.  I decided to keep rolling just to give myself a good laugh.
11.  The joys of success are immeasurable. 
    The days that I have a good game are pure joy. When students master a concept or are excited about a subject you are in heaven.  You work, you work, you work and then finally it pays off.   That is satisfaction. 

Just kidding. . .Actually the Bay is a great place.  It's the people that I have a problem with.  And I don't have anyone to talk to about these things because naturally the folks from here are defensive.  So, I'm just gonna rant!

1.  The people are polite but not friendly.  Californians freak out if you talk to them and they don't know you.  This makes it really hard to meet people.  In fact, I might not even be writing this blog if I could actually meet some fun loving people. 

2.  Too much fruitiness.  Fruity capoeira, fruity yoga, fruity meditation retreats.  Fruity educators for social justice workshops.  Fruity empowering women of color conferences.  Why can't we do stuff without the fruitiness?  We don't need to love each other and hold hands and look into each others' eyes and make collages and draw pictures all the time.  No more feathers!  No more pillows!  Fuck the Fruitiness! 

3.  Too much whining and complaining. 'It's foggy!', 'It's raining'.  'It was SO hot'.  Fog never killed anyone.  Neither did rain.  And the 'SO hot' day was at most 80 degrees of dry heat.  Nut up people!  That brings me to my next complaint.

4. Too much softness.  Again--Nut up people!  You won't die if you have to walk two blocks to the store. 

5.  Too many people who think they are down but they are really not.  Too many white people who think they aren't racist but they are.  Big newsflash people--everyone is racist!  This is the United States of America.

6.  Not enough sabor.  Where is the flavah!?  Show off a bit.  Don't be so mellow.  Be loud. Be vivacious.  Let the world know who you are. 

7.  The Bay is supposed to be open-minded but it's only open-minded if you agree with the predominant thought of the left.  Things are so PC out here.  An extreme example, you can't say 'go straight' for fear of offending gay people.  I felt a lot more free to say what I thought in NYC where anyone can say anything no matter how offensive it is.  

8.  Too much 'niceness'.  People feel the need to be 'nice' or 'polite' all the time.  This is actually very hard to do so then the 'niceness' leads to passive-aggresivity and flakiness.   Just be real.  Be direct.  It saves time.  This brings me to my next point. 

9.  Too much time spent talking really slowly.  Why does it take people a whole paragraph to say something a New Yorker would've said in one sentence?  My patience is wearing really thin.

10.  Too 'Green'.  I want to save the planet as much as anyone.  I recycle.  I reuse items when I can.  I try to limit the number of bags I use when I buy items at a store.  But people in the Bay take being 'Green' to extremes.   No, I'm not going  to ride my bicycle from North Oakland to Fruitvale  to get to work everyday.   And I'm not  going to become  a vegetarian.  Eating meat is a privilege that I enjoy.  In fact a lot of the  stuff  that I'm complaining about is built on privilege that goes totally unacknowledged.  I think this is why it bothers me so much.   

P.S.  One of the guys from the team from France was wearing an Abada Capoeira t-shirt. 

Okay, here's a link to an article about b-boying and capoeira.  Again, the assertion that capoeira did not influence b-boying.  http://www.bboy.org/forums/interviews-articles/51945-history-breakdancing.html So why the similarities?  Are they coincidental and spontaneous? 

1.  I needed a break from NYC
2.  I don't need a lot of stuff.  Decent clothes, a computer with internet, Netflix, a comfortable, safe, quiet, place and I'm good.  Cable if I'm being extra extravagant : )
3.  Same shit different place.  I used to have days in nyc where I was like 'is everyone crazy or is it just me?'.  Well, that happens everywhere.  I had one of those days yesterday.
4.  Everything is easier in Cali. 
5.  Many people in Cali are polite but not friendly.
6.  If you can appreciate what you have you will be much happier. 
7.  I love teaching adults.  More teaching less bullshit.
8.  I miss the energy, warmth and sense of community in NYC.
9.  I like the NYC me better.  I was more vivacious, louder, bolder.  I've had to tone it down here because that stuff doesn't always go over well. 
10.  There are more rules in NYC.  
11. When you move you think you know what it's like, you can plan, but you never know 'til you get there. 
12.  Loneliness is a part of life. 
13.  I love cafes. The Bay Area has a lot of good ones. 
14.  The Bay Area is exceptionally beautiful.

Okay. . .after some more time in my capoeira group, I have to say that I don't think the issues with the differences in capoeira have to do with culture-vultures.  It's an art thing not a race thing.  Some people just prefer the more artistic side of capoeira.  I don't know if that's the teacher's emphasis but it seems like most people simply prefer to play what I would call a performance game.  Which is fine.  The problem is that I prefer to play more of an ass-kicking game.  So only time will tell how I'm going to fit into this situation.  This doesn't mean that I don't believe in culture-vultures.  Or even that there aren't culture vultures in the class.  I'm sure race and class do come into play for all of us.  But I do feel that people are more motivated by their artistic notions more than anything else.