5 posts tagged “bay area”
Just kidding. . .Actually the Bay is a great place. It's the people that I have a problem with. And I don't have anyone to talk to about these things because naturally the folks from here are defensive. So, I'm just gonna rant!
1. The people are polite but not friendly. Californians freak out if you talk to them and they don't know you. This makes it really hard to meet people. In fact, I might not even be writing this blog if I could actually meet some fun loving people.
2. Too much fruitiness. Fruity capoeira, fruity yoga, fruity meditation retreats. Fruity educators for social justice workshops. Fruity empowering women of color conferences. Why can't we do stuff without the fruitiness? We don't need to love each other and hold hands and look into each others' eyes and make collages and draw pictures all the time. No more feathers! No more pillows! Fuck the Fruitiness!
3. Too much whining and complaining. 'It's foggy!', 'It's raining'. 'It was SO hot'. Fog never killed anyone. Neither did rain. And the 'SO hot' day was at most 80 degrees of dry heat. Nut up people! That brings me to my next complaint.
4. Too much softness. Again--Nut up people! You won't die if you have to walk two blocks to the store.
5. Too many people who think they are down but they are really not. Too many white people who think they aren't racist but they are. Big newsflash people--everyone is racist! This is the United States of America.
6. Not enough sabor. Where is the flavah!? Show off a bit. Don't be so mellow. Be loud. Be vivacious. Let the world know who you are.
7. The Bay is supposed to be open-minded but it's only open-minded if you agree with the predominant thought of the left. Things are so PC out here. An extreme example, you can't say 'go straight' for fear of offending gay people. I felt a lot more free to say what I thought in NYC where anyone can say anything no matter how offensive it is.
8. Too much 'niceness'. People feel the need to be 'nice' or 'polite' all the time. This is actually very hard to do so then the 'niceness' leads to passive-aggresivity and flakiness. Just be real. Be direct. It saves time. This brings me to my next point.
9. Too much time spent talking really slowly. Why does it take people a whole paragraph to say something a New Yorker would've said in one sentence? My patience is wearing really thin.
10. Too 'Green'. I want to save the planet as much as anyone. I recycle. I reuse items when I can. I try to limit the number of bags I use when I buy items at a store. But people in the Bay take being 'Green' to extremes. No, I'm not going to ride my bicycle from North Oakland to Fruitvale to get to work everyday. And I'm not going to become a vegetarian. Eating meat is a privilege that I enjoy. In fact a lot of the stuff that I'm complaining about is built on privilege that goes totally unacknowledged. I think this is why it bothers me so much.
Caveats
1. Just had a super frustrating capoeira class which can happen anywhere : )
2. Still at my mom's house
3. Got an email of a Women in Capoeira event and a Hip Hop event that I totally want to go to that's happening in NYC
4. Way to early to make a decision and know what my life will be like
5. I have had a few experiences where I thought 'this is great!' : )
Thoughts
1. I feel like I'm making two choices-comfortable life vs. life rich in experiences. With those two choices I'll take the life rich in experiences even if that means that I'm less comfortable
2. Why I left--I felt like NYC was the same old same old. Like I had gotten all I could get. Like it wasn't worth it anymore. I was super lonely. I didn't appreciate the art, the movies, the capoeira, all of my experiences. I didn't appreciate the people. The daily grind was getting to me.
3. Now that I'm back in the bay I do appreciate the things that NYC has to offer. There are just some things you can't get in the Bay.
4. I forgot all my irritations with the people in the Bay. I love the Bay, but dang 1) flakeyness 2) lazyness 3) too PC
6. I feel like NYC is one extreeme and the Bay is another. It's easier to say no to things than to create things and get people to do stuff
7. I didn't leave NYC because I hated it. I left because I was super lonely and burnt.
8. I really miss the people I met in NYC. They were interesting. Even the assholes were interesting. Right now, I feel like I'm around people who play it safe and are boring.
9. I really miss being around creative people who were adventurous. Most of the people I was around in NYC were open to adventures and were artists in one form or another.
A lot of people have been asking how I like living back in the Bay. And I have to be honest. It's been a lot harder than I thought. Definitely the quality of life issues are better. Better weather, fresher food, less nuisances, friendlier people and less stress. So in terms of meeting those expectations--those things have been good.
Then there's my housing and job situation. I've been offered two jobs so far but chose not to accept b/c one was far away and the other one was at night. I've been called in for interviews and then the interviews have been canceled. There's been so many ups and downs. It's been slow. Kind of like dating or apartment hunting--you get your hopes up and then you are disappointed.
The housing situation. I live with my mom and it sucks. I love her and I am so thankful that she is allowing me to stay there rent free but it's hellof stressful living at home.
So, I feel kind of iffy about my decision to move back to the Bay. Socially, I feel like I've grown and changed and its hard to find people who want to do the things I like to do. I expected that b/c people like to chill out a lot in the Bay. It's weird because I'm getting frustrated by people being too laid back and then when I was in NYC I was frustrated by the amazingly crazy pace of life. I miss being around people who want to make things happen. But there are creative, active people in the Bay who are motivated and so I just have to find them.
In a way I feel like how many immigrants feel when they come to the U.S. I've gotten used to being in a harder place and now I get to an easier place and I see people whining (its raining) and not taking advantage of the opportunities that are out there (oh--I'm just going to stay in tonight). It's frustrating!
Then there's the whole 'demographic' shift. One of the reasons I love NYC is because there are so many beautiful people of the diaspora living there. At one time in my life living around people of the diaspora especially the Latin America Caribbean was very important to me. Growing up, I rarely saw people who looked like me and shared my same culture. Here in Cali it was always just Black or Mexican (I'm oversimplifying things but. . .)
I knew that the Bay offers different demographics. And I thought that I was okay with that. I thought that the quality of life issues were more important to me than that certain afro-diaspora flava that NYC has to offer. And now I'm not so sure (see my culture vulture blog). Again, this may only be a matter of finding my niche or community. Only time will tell.
So as you can see, I've been thinking about this culture vulture issue a lot. I realized that there are lots of people who are white (both above and below me in rank) who I would love to play in capoeira. And there are also a few people who are black or latino who I don't enjoy playing. So, I guess the cautiousness/bad game thing is not always a 'white boy' phenomena. People who play below the rhythm and people who play super cautiously just bother me--regardless of race. (And I'm sure there are people who don't like to play me because I can be wild and crazy : )
I still think there is an issue here with culture vultures in the Bay Area. And I'm still bothered by the lack of Black people at the Black History Performance. Why are there so many more culture vultures here than in New York? Is it because NYC is more overtly racist? And what is a culture vulture? How do we define it?
Agpz! You are right! Writing about what I think is the bomb! Maybe I should go back to school and get my Ph.D. Of course, then I'd have to back up what I'm saying with 'facts', 'data' and quotes from other researchers but. . .Is getting my Ph.D. a way I can live in NYC in a more healthy and respectful way? Gotta think about that. . .
