1 post tagged “patriarchy”
I watched the show before going to bed and every dream I had last night was like Sex and the City. The only dream I really remembered was an 'episode' where some guy was an asshole to Charlotte. So Sam got back at him by making it look like she gave him a blow job. Don't ask. . .it made sense in the dream. Sam used that marshmellow mix and put it around the guy's mouth when he was asleep. Then she put some of the marshmallow mix on the sofa. I was in the dream, too, so I helped her make the guy look guilty. Then Sam walked into the family room and woke up the guy and made it look like they were caught. I don't know how that was supossed to make Charlotte feel better, but it did.
Anyway. . .I've been thinking about Sex in the City a lot because the show brings up a lot of issues that a single woman in her early 30's can really connect with. Lately, because I've been around my family, I've really been feeling how society devalues single women. Here are some examples:
1) Last winter I went to Panama. My cousin works on a tourist boat that takes people around different tourist destinations in Panama. He said he would like to take me on the boat but he couldn't because I was single so that would be a problem. I didn't really understand what the problem was. . . I just said 'fuck it' and went to the beach by myself. . .
2) My dad, a psychiatrist, seemed to think that all my misery in moving back to the Bay Area had to do with not having a boyfriend. He mentioned this frequently, every time I complained about being there. My sister's boyfriend, a psychologist, also made comments to this effect. (What are they teaching these so called 'mental health professionals' ? ) What these men don't get is that was miserable because I was bored--not because I didn't have a man. It's such a traditional patriarchal view that a woman can't be happy alone. I've even had friends assume that I'm in a bad mood because I'm not dating anyone. Come on people--this is the 21st century!
3) Definitely in my family my sister gets treated more like an adult because she is in a relationship. She makes her own adult decisions and plans and they are accepted by both my parents with out commentary or feedback. I'm expected to tag along with my parents and every independent decision is subject to their feedback and criticism. I feel that this hellof ironic because I have more life experience.
Get with it people! Society tells women that it's normal to be with a man and abnormal to be alone. This is such a harmful message that many women internalize. I have a lot of female friends who are depressed because they are alone or are in bad relationships to avoid being alone--all because of societal pressure. Be strong ladies! You are complete and whole and wonderful and amazing all by yourself!
